So much time has passed. I missed out on writing a birthday post this year because life has been so busy. Somethings have changed and some have stayed the same. Altogether, 2018 thus far has been a year of many highs and lows.
It started out in January with a high, making it to the interview stage of the JET Programme that I applied for, which is a teaching exchange program in Japan. It's something I've wanted to do for years, but after I finished University, I went straight into another degree which was Law. Things didn't work out with Law, and I finally just took myself out of that situation in May-June 2017. It was one of the best decisions I ever made and I started my life afresh last year...somewhat. I started pursuing those Japanese classes I always wanted to do but never got around to. I'm still kicking myself for not pursuing it while I was doing law but better late than never.
I applied to the JET Programme last year October (2017) and out of the over 100 applicants, I earned myself a spot in the top 30 for the interview in January. I found out in March that I made it onto the short-list, which basically means you're in and they're just looking for a placement for you. When May rolled around I got my confirmation that I was placed in Kobe-shi, and I am so proud of myself. Honestly, I always feel like I'm working with time that's running out on me, already 25 as of April, but this is one of the few accomplishments I've made in this life that I am genuinely proud of.
Getting into the program may not seem like a big deal to others but to me, who's been hit with disappointment after disappointment, this is a miracle. A miracle born from a lot of hard-work and dedication. I went the extra mile for my application and I relentlessly practiced for my interview and made sure I had all my bases covered. It's like coming back from the ashes. Yes, I'm dramatic but when I dropped out of Law School, I had no idea where my life was headed, it felt like a relief but at the same time, my country's employment rate is at an all time low, and applying for a Master's was not possible last year thanks to the deadlines. I do still intend to pursue my Master's just not right now. I also have a few other goals to pursue but we'll see how this goes first.
Back track to February. My grandmother passed away. I wasn't sad or anything, for obvious reasons that are unknown here, but I know them and that's what's important. I don't feel the need to go into detail but the aftermath of her passing was so extremely taxing. I could barely function properly until probably April. I thought I wasn't going to be okay again, that's how bad it was. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat, none of it out of sadness, but mostly out of crippling anxiety. I think I was traumatized, I assume that's what happens when you find someone dead. None of it really hit me until after that first day. It was so incredibly hard for me to overcome my own fears, I was popping anxiety pills like vitamins. So that is another thing that I feel proud of myself for, being able to get out of that dark place and move on.
That being said, 2018 has not been a bad year thus far, it's actually been pretty good in terms of growth. I ended up joining this group chat and made a bunch of new friends and actually regained my motivation to write. I've been posting stuff on tumblr and I mean, it's not very good, but I know it'll improve with time since I'm now getting back in the groove of things. I'm really happy I got this opportunity and these new friends so it's a good time.
I leave for Japan on August 4th, that being said, I have made the decision to close this blog. This blog has a lot of memories on it and it shows a lot of growth and changes in my life so I'm very grateful to have it to serve as reflection. I'm not going to delete it, but it'll remain just an archive. I haven't been very active but I want to change that and open a brand new blog, probably on another site, so this is my farewell.
To anyone that reads this, I hope you're doing well, and if you're not, hang tight, things will get better soon <3 nbsp="" p="">
xoxo,
Shantilly.
All my love.
Shantilly.
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