Where do I begin?
This year was supposed to be my year of growth, that was the only resolution I had for myself. I've long given up on making large lists of New Year's Resolutions, they more than likely never happen anyway and I just end up feeling like a failure, so to avoid such things I've decided to stop. Anyway, the one thing I wrote down as a goal for 2014 was simply, GROWTH. The goal for 2013 was happiness and believe me, that did not happen, 2013 was the exact opposite, however that doesn't mean my pursuit of happiness is over.
2014 ultimately has been a struggle, not as much as 2013 but it was a struggle to try and put my life back together after the disaster of the previous year, along with many setbacks I think I can safely say, I made some progress. Both happiness and growth aren't resolutions per say, they're a part of everyday life and I've always known that (it just felt solid to have a word for the year I suppose), therefore, they're both things I strive for every day, not just for the years I've labelled them on. 2014 has brought me some pretty great things and lessons which is what life is all about, no?
So here's a list of things that 2014 has brought me:
1. The thing I'm most proud of right now, my first degree, BA Literatures in English with History (I graduated in October).
2. Starting Law School, proof that there's always another chance at a new beginning.
3. A hell of a lot of anxiety.
4. Seeking help isn't weakness, it's a form of strength to know when you need help and to get it.
5. Making new friends, something I've always had trouble with but progress was made.
6. Saying goodbye to my best friend and basically struggling to keep our friendship alive.
7. Realizing that I am emotionally damaged to a certain point because I struggle to let people in. Trust issues.
8. Meeting a new person and not giving my all to them, which is actually a good thing, it prevents a lot of hurt. Lesson learnt, I just need to find some middle ground between being totally closed off or too open.
9. Always have your guard up, it isn't always a good thing because, see number 7, but it's important to keep yourself stable.
10. I am A LOT stronger than I ever thought I could've been.
11. There will always be setbacks but you can achieve great things.
12. I have to be successful because I like expensive shit.
13. I have to try to find a balance between being a good person and not being a pushover.
14. Motivation is the key to success, focus on the prize, work towards it and ye shall reap the rewards.
15. Last but not least, this is really not the list I had in mind, my brain is all over but above all, believe in yourself. Positivity is all that's needed sometimes.
My word for the upcoming year, well the goal, coupled with Happiness and Growth : BALANCE.
I hope 2015 brings lots of good things, have a good one! Cheers!
xoxo, Shantilly
