"I see humans but no humanity."
That's a phrase I've come to identify with way too often in my short lifetime. It makes me feel sick to my stomach when I think about the things that make me identify with it. Humans, human cruelty, there's none quite like it. I think about the wars, the suffering people all over the world, the unspeakable cruelty some are subjected to at the hands of others, the depraved and wounded, and I feel for them, all of them.
I've come to realize quite early on that I feel things quite deeply compared to other people, things that aren't even remotely related to me, I find that connection and I relate to it and feel it like if it were me or someone I knew and loved. That's the mark of the creative people isn't it? More like a curse, but it is what propels us to write, paint, draw, sculpt, cook, sew, design, CREATE.
"Perhaps it's good for one to suffer. Can an artist do anything if he's happy? Would he ever want to do anything? What is art, after all, but a protest against the horrible inclemency of life?" -Aldous Huxley
I was randomly scrolling through the books I had on my kindle a couple days ago and I just picked one to read, no synopsis or anything was read beforehand. "Revolution" by Jennifer Donnelly, I was blown away. I can't even put into words how I felt at some points during this book. The fact that even 200 years ago people were still this cruel and they haven't changed a bit. The book covers the relationship between a girl in modern day Brooklyn and another girl in revolutionary France, Paris to be exact. Paris is one of the my favourite cities in the world. It is the absolute dream for me and yes I see it as it is now in our present time, cloaked in the glitz and glamour of the opulence, and high end fashion so expensive and ostentatious that just hearing the prices is enough to make you cry. The place where the literary greats like Hemingway and Fitzgerald found inspiration, La Belle Époque.
The Paris in this novel however was much different and I'm glad, I'm glad the author chose not to sugarcoat the horror that was the French Revolution. Her depictions of the revolution showed both sides of the coin and very rarely do you ever see that in accounts of any revolution, they always highlight the plight of the people and why they were justified in their revolt, however this time the story was riveting for a whole other reason. The royals, their plight. Now we all know the story of how the French monarchy fell, how Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette lived lavishly while their people suffered for even the littlest of grain to eat. A phrase that MA is famous for is "let them eat cake!" Now I'm not sure if she's ever actually said this but yes it was pretty dense and bitchy of her if she did.
This story focused on the short life and death of Louis XVI and MA's young son, Louis Charles. Now, this is where the emotional roller-coaster begins, we all know that it is popular opinion that the Royals deserved their punishment in the end, after all, beheading was the normal form of extreme punishment in that time. Where though, was the fault of this innocent child? Being born into the wrong family? How is it okay to torture a 7 year old? Of course the novel had a whole story but this is not a book review so I won't be covering that. This is the telling of how much this unsettled me. This child was royalty, supposedly privileged more so than many others yet, this is how the last few years of his short life was spent, locked away in a tower in isolation from everyone. Don't take this the wrong way, I'm not sympathetic because of who he was, no, I am sympathetic and deeply saddened by the fact that this was a child, a child who had no idea why he was made to suffer, that too for something he had no part in. They say the cobbler, Antoine Simon and his wife who were left in charge of him did not treat him badly, despite the many accusations of barbarous cruelty the child endured at their hands. Of course we'll never know, history has a way of phasing out a lot of things and changing many others, as a History student I can attest to this.
This bothered me so immensely, just reading the account of it in Donnelly's words has left a permanent imprint on me. I don't know why. I just imagine everything so vividly that it makes my heart hurt. I know at that point in time the life expectancy of a lot of children was very low, Louis Charles' elder brother also perished at a very young age. I just feel like if he was cared for properly then he would've lived a lot longer. Firstly, isolation in itself is not an easy thing for anyone to deal with, much less a child. Secondly, being ripped away from one's parents is a traumatic experience that one is not likely to forget. Finally, it is known that he was abused, and several accounts convey that his living conditions were far from humane. I just can't be okay with that, and it wounded me so deeply, I know these things happen every single moment of every single day somewhere in the world and it is so incredibly damaging to think about.
There are so many things that are not okay, so much evil and intolerable cruelty in this world and we turn a blind eye to all of it. We hear of it then shrug it off, once it doesn't affect us directly it shouldn't be our problem right? This is the very same reason a lot of these things even happen, because people ignore it. I can tolerate a lot of things but cruelty against children (or animals) is not one of them. Animals and small children share a lot of the same traits, mainly the fact that they are completely innocent. They are unaware of quite a lot and most of the time when you decide to hurt them, they have absolutely no clue why they're being hurt, and I can't think of a more unfair and cruel thing than that. Of course the same happens to a lot of adults, but as adults you are more than aware of the way the world works and how many things occur without explanation but these children and animals have no idea about the world's cruelty until it is inflicted upon them. It's an experience they're not likely to ever forget, if they survive it.
I won't by any means consider myself an activist of any kind, mainly because I've never actively fought for any of these causes apart from internet petitions, but it is something I am incredibly passionate about (along with women's rights, but that's a whole other story for another time). I do hope to one day participate in bringing about positive changes in these sectors. Since starting my law degree last year, one of my favourite topics that I've come across is that of Human Rights and I've realized since then just how passionate I really am about it. I think just this topic alone has made me find my place in studying law, it's something I actually want to learn more about, it doesn't even feel like studying when I'm going over this topic.
Becoming a Human Rights Attorney is probably the most appealing job to me right now, despite the fact that the road to actually becoming one is far from smooth. Also, becoming a human rights attorney in Trinidad is probably, actually, it's quite pointless. We don't have the developments in that field quite yet, hopefully that changes in the future. Either way, my interests have definitely been captured by this subject matter and it has become so close to my heart that I feel it as if all of it were happening to me and I want to help and make a difference.
This year has put a lot of things into perspective for me, it's made me lay bare and put my trust in the unknown, something I have an incredibly hard time doing, and now I realize that you encounter everything when it's just right. Timing is everything.
You know what really amazes me, and not in the good way? The fact that we claim to be a "modern" society, breaking free of all the restraints and embracing the new age...yet the abuse of basic human rights is still so blatant and happening right now. The war torn Middle East, the refugee crisis, Ferguson, #BlackLivesMatter, school shootings, FGM, inequality, homophobia, racism, facism (and so much more, way too many to list off the top of my head)...all of it is sickening, maddeningly sickening. It all makes me feel so helpless to be alive today and not be able to help in any small way. There is so much, SO MUCH more I can write about this but I don't think it's the right time, nor do I have the capacity to do so right now with so many other things on my mind. Eventually, it'll all come to pass.
At the end of the day I've realized that that's all I want, I want to have survived this life and say I helped, even if it's just one person. I need to be able to help at least one person come out of this better than they were. It's not something for self-praise or fame, it's about doing something for someone else, to make someone else's life better, to give them a chance they probably wouldn't have had before. I've realized that that's one of the few things that makes me genuinely happy and I will strive to do it for as many people as I can, for as long as I live.
xoxo, Shantilly.
This story focused on the short life and death of Louis XVI and MA's young son, Louis Charles. Now, this is where the emotional roller-coaster begins, we all know that it is popular opinion that the Royals deserved their punishment in the end, after all, beheading was the normal form of extreme punishment in that time. Where though, was the fault of this innocent child? Being born into the wrong family? How is it okay to torture a 7 year old? Of course the novel had a whole story but this is not a book review so I won't be covering that. This is the telling of how much this unsettled me. This child was royalty, supposedly privileged more so than many others yet, this is how the last few years of his short life was spent, locked away in a tower in isolation from everyone. Don't take this the wrong way, I'm not sympathetic because of who he was, no, I am sympathetic and deeply saddened by the fact that this was a child, a child who had no idea why he was made to suffer, that too for something he had no part in. They say the cobbler, Antoine Simon and his wife who were left in charge of him did not treat him badly, despite the many accusations of barbarous cruelty the child endured at their hands. Of course we'll never know, history has a way of phasing out a lot of things and changing many others, as a History student I can attest to this.
This bothered me so immensely, just reading the account of it in Donnelly's words has left a permanent imprint on me. I don't know why. I just imagine everything so vividly that it makes my heart hurt. I know at that point in time the life expectancy of a lot of children was very low, Louis Charles' elder brother also perished at a very young age. I just feel like if he was cared for properly then he would've lived a lot longer. Firstly, isolation in itself is not an easy thing for anyone to deal with, much less a child. Secondly, being ripped away from one's parents is a traumatic experience that one is not likely to forget. Finally, it is known that he was abused, and several accounts convey that his living conditions were far from humane. I just can't be okay with that, and it wounded me so deeply, I know these things happen every single moment of every single day somewhere in the world and it is so incredibly damaging to think about.
There are so many things that are not okay, so much evil and intolerable cruelty in this world and we turn a blind eye to all of it. We hear of it then shrug it off, once it doesn't affect us directly it shouldn't be our problem right? This is the very same reason a lot of these things even happen, because people ignore it. I can tolerate a lot of things but cruelty against children (or animals) is not one of them. Animals and small children share a lot of the same traits, mainly the fact that they are completely innocent. They are unaware of quite a lot and most of the time when you decide to hurt them, they have absolutely no clue why they're being hurt, and I can't think of a more unfair and cruel thing than that. Of course the same happens to a lot of adults, but as adults you are more than aware of the way the world works and how many things occur without explanation but these children and animals have no idea about the world's cruelty until it is inflicted upon them. It's an experience they're not likely to ever forget, if they survive it.
I won't by any means consider myself an activist of any kind, mainly because I've never actively fought for any of these causes apart from internet petitions, but it is something I am incredibly passionate about (along with women's rights, but that's a whole other story for another time). I do hope to one day participate in bringing about positive changes in these sectors. Since starting my law degree last year, one of my favourite topics that I've come across is that of Human Rights and I've realized since then just how passionate I really am about it. I think just this topic alone has made me find my place in studying law, it's something I actually want to learn more about, it doesn't even feel like studying when I'm going over this topic.
Becoming a Human Rights Attorney is probably the most appealing job to me right now, despite the fact that the road to actually becoming one is far from smooth. Also, becoming a human rights attorney in Trinidad is probably, actually, it's quite pointless. We don't have the developments in that field quite yet, hopefully that changes in the future. Either way, my interests have definitely been captured by this subject matter and it has become so close to my heart that I feel it as if all of it were happening to me and I want to help and make a difference.
This year has put a lot of things into perspective for me, it's made me lay bare and put my trust in the unknown, something I have an incredibly hard time doing, and now I realize that you encounter everything when it's just right. Timing is everything.
You know what really amazes me, and not in the good way? The fact that we claim to be a "modern" society, breaking free of all the restraints and embracing the new age...yet the abuse of basic human rights is still so blatant and happening right now. The war torn Middle East, the refugee crisis, Ferguson, #BlackLivesMatter, school shootings, FGM, inequality, homophobia, racism, facism (and so much more, way too many to list off the top of my head)...all of it is sickening, maddeningly sickening. It all makes me feel so helpless to be alive today and not be able to help in any small way. There is so much, SO MUCH more I can write about this but I don't think it's the right time, nor do I have the capacity to do so right now with so many other things on my mind. Eventually, it'll all come to pass.
At the end of the day I've realized that that's all I want, I want to have survived this life and say I helped, even if it's just one person. I need to be able to help at least one person come out of this better than they were. It's not something for self-praise or fame, it's about doing something for someone else, to make someone else's life better, to give them a chance they probably wouldn't have had before. I've realized that that's one of the few things that makes me genuinely happy and I will strive to do it for as many people as I can, for as long as I live.
xoxo, Shantilly.
