I don't know about you but, I'm feeling 22

I wish I could say that's a good feeling, I guess I can, but it wouldn't be true. Anyway, I made it another 12 months, a year older, 22. Accomplished a few things since 21, still nowhere close to where I thought I'd be at this point but if it's one thing you learn as you go is that, you can't plan life or put a timer on it. I think doing that has left me pretty disillusioned with a lot of things.

This month was probably, actually no, it was definitely one of the worst of my life thus far. Birthday week did me no favours either but, somehow, life goes on. I'm currently in a frenzy because I'm now realizing just how close exams are (they start next Tuesday), yeah, how did that happen? Just the other day we were in September. FML.

I'm currently sitting in my kitchen, which I do a lot when I study late at night because it's more peaceful here somehow (and there's food, DUH, s/o to my fridge)...anyway, I don't live that far from the airport and airplanes pass over/close to my house quite often, hence, I know when every single flight is arriving or departing, and I find it the most comforting thing ever. At this very moment in time, I just wish I could be on one of those flights out of this place, that's all. I don't care where I'm going, where I'll stay, nothing, I just want to get out of here. I feel suffocated and claustrophobic with the current state of my life, like I have no where to turn and all the walls are closing in, the clock is ticking away and time is running out, and I'm accomplishing nothing worthwhile.

I know I have the potential to succeed and I really hope this year can bring forth some of that because God knows I'm trying, I'm trying so fucking hard. My life is in more shambles than it was last year around this same time, I don't even know how it happened, okay no, fuck that, I know exactly how it happened but whatever, I can't go back and undo anything, all I have is the present and the future and to shape that differently.

So here's to 22, another year older, and hopefully a tad bit wiser.