1 day...
2015...goddamn 2015, it was a hell of a year, an actual rollercoaster ride, but not the fun ones. You know the ones that keep going in loops, and you want to throw up and you keep begging to get off but it won't stop? Yeah, that kind. Anyway, 2015 has been a big year for everyone, a year of man-buns, continuation of the social media rage, ISIS, The Weeknd, vines, fuckboys, life-hacks, and of course...lessons. 2015 has definitely taught me some valuable lessons, as every year does, but I feel like this year something's changed.
I no longer make resolutions (but does marrying a Sheikh count for 2016?) anyway, I have goals, 2013 : happiness, 2014 : growth, 2015 : balance. Now, let me say upfront, I have failed magnificently at my 2015 goal, my balance was SO off, it's shameful really. I'm not sure I have a goal for 2016 yet, hopefully by the end of this post I do.
2015 has taught me:
1. I am a control freak, no really, and my control-freakness is one of my greatest downfalls because you can't control everything. You see, things spiralled way out of my control this year and I was completely unable to cope with my "failures." This needs to be fixed, or...controlled.
2. Sometimes good people make bad decisions. You can't fix everyone and everything. Sometimes you're put into someone's life only for a short time and it's up to you to make an impact, a good impact. I hope I did.
3. Some friendships/relationships can be rekindled and picked up right where they left off before things went bad, whereas others not so much.
4. Sometimes even when you lay all your cards on the table and everything is laid bare, you still can't anticipate what you're getting yourself into. Nothing's ever a sure thing, people are fickle and they will let you down.
5. You can no longer pull all nighters and study the night before your exams. Your second degree requires way more work and dedication. Stop your bullshit please, we need this law degree boo. Let your shortcomings be your motivation.
6. Fuckboys, fuckboys everywhere (to be fair, fuckgirls too). Relationships and love have become such fragile things, people give in to their vices so easily, they lie flawlessly to the people they claim to "love," they break other people without giving a second thought, all in the name of selfishness. "I deserve this, I deserve that," no, what you deserve is a really hard slap or two.
7. Not everyone that says they love you, mean it. "Those three words are said too much, but not enough," one of my favourite lines from one of my favourite songs, it has a much deeper meaning now.
8. Failure is not the end of the world. You can get up and try again. "So what? You failed your finals. You gained some weight. So what? You're single again. You lost your job. So what? What now? You live. You try again. That's what."
9. When the world feel like it's going to end and everyone and everything is against you, there will always be your mother's arms. I've realized this year the truth to the statement, "My mother taught me everything except how to live without her." I love you ma.
10. You are always capable of loving again, and again. I don't have enough fingers to count how many times I've broken down this year and said, "I have nothing left to give anyone," and I truly feel it in those moments of despair but, no matter how broken you think you are, there is always some love left to give.
Drawing by my incredibly talented oompaloompa Maryam Mohammed.
I wish you all the best for 2016. I hope you have a safe, healthy, and happy one, filled with lots of love and magic.
-Neil Gaiman
xoxo, Shantilly.
