For Auld Lang Syne

2017...

Was a hard year. Nothing about it was easy but I feel like it was a year that prepared me for a lot, however it’s definitely not a year I’d ever want a replay of.

The year started off pretty good, I had a goal to open my own small business which I did in the first week of January. I’m almost sure that I’ll be closing said business soon but it was such a good experience and I felt accomplished for even being able to start in the first place. Things took a nosedive in around March when I hit my new car... 3rd accident in less than a year. I could barely drive anymore and I know even though the first accident was the worst, it’s the two smaller ones that followed that caused the real trauma because I was so terrified that it would continue happening. Also, I do not have the easiest parents to deal with when it comes to these things so that added to the fear.

On the day of my birthday we (my family and I) went to dinner and it was a total disaster. That’s another night I could just do without the memory of. My birthday is always something I celebrate and I just feel like it was ruined this year. The bright side is I celebrated the day before my actual birthday with my friends and it was pretty perfect.

I took my first solo trip this year to my dream destination nonetheless, London. I didn’t think it would’ve been possible but at the very last minute my dad pulled through. It was such a fantastic trip, and a great learning experience and it has further fueled my love for traveling, and London in general. I can’t wait to do it all over again, and perhaps, better next time.

In May were my law exams which I prepared as best as I could for...and failed. I spent a lot of time studying and trying my best to ensure that I passed these exams and the outcome was the complete opposite. Strangely enough...actually I’m not sure if it’s strange as I’d already prepared myself and said if I passed the exams necessary to continue then that’s God’s way of saying that it’s for me, and if I didn’t then it wasn’t. When the results came out I just felt an enormous sense of relief over this, I was just so glad to be free of this extreme burden. Yes, I’d slowly come to see it as a burden, the constant pressure and overwhelming stress coupled with the crazy expectations was driving me insane.

So this was a blessing in disguise.

With this over, I finally applied for a programme that I wanted to apply for for ages. I submitted a short story to a competition and I started taking Japanese classes which I wanted to do for a long while. This short time period seems to be great progress personally and I’m extremely proud of myself for it.

I also got to see Luke after over a year in October and I was so happy about that. Even though the reason for him coming home was due to the devastation of hurricane Irma in Turks and Caicos, I’m just so happy that I got to see him. It felt very different this time, I feel like we got much closer and I’m so thankful. In fact I’ve felt so much closer to my few friends this year and I’m so appreciative of them.

Between October to December things have been constantly up and down. I have been doing quite well at Japanese and I really enjoyed it this semester so I’ll be continuing with it next semester. (And actually focusing on finding a job). Taking Japanese has done so much for my life that I can’t ever be grateful enough. I’m so happy for the new friends, the things I’ve learnt and the memories I’ve made.

I really hope 2018 is better than 2017. I try not to have high hopes but I really really hope this year is a turn around for me. 2017 has taught me how to be grateful in so many ways I hadn’t thought about before, for every little thing, and it’s a quality I’m glad I’ve adopted.

So here’s to 2017, good riddance! Welcome 2018! I can’t wait to see what marvels and memories you hold...

Wishing you and yours a very bright and prosperous new year! I hope 2018 holds many precious, new, and good things for you all.

xoxo, Shantilly.

Ask Me! {2017 version}

• 80 questions~
• 1. Name?: Shantilly
• 2. Birthdate?: 29/04/1993
• 3. Current Location?: Trinidad
• 4. Eye Color?: Brown
• 5. Hair Color?: Dark Brown
• 6. Height?: 158cm
• 7. Zodiac Sign?: Taurus
• 8. Ethnicity?: East Indian
• 9. Single or Taken?: Single
• Have You ever...
• 10. Drank?: Yes
• 11. Smoked?: No
• 12. Skinny Dipped?: No
• 13. Licked a 9 volt battery?: What? NO...
• 14. Made a prank phone call?: Yes
• 15. Been in a beauty pageant?: No
• 16. Thrown up in public?: Yes
• 17. Worn a crown?: Yes
• 18. Licked the back of a CD to try to get it to work?: Yes
• 19. Been on a blind date?: No
• 20. Caught a fish?: Yes!
• 21. Been in love?: Yes
• 22. Thought your cousin was hot?: Nope
• 23. Slept past noon?: Only most days
• 24. Taken a shower with the opposite sex?: No
• 25. Danced in front of your mirror?: Everyday
• 26. Been dumped?: Yes
• 27. Been arrested?: No
• 28. Made out with a stranger?: Yes
• 29. Seen someone die?: No
• 30. Kissed a picture?: Yes
• 31. Slept in the opposite sex's bed?: No
• 32. Made a snow angel?: Yes
• 33. Cheated while playing a game?: Yes
• 34. Felt an earthquake?: Yes
• 35. Touched a snake?: Yes
• 36. Sang karaoke?: No
• 37. Done something you told yourself you wouldn't do?: Too much
• 38. Caught a snowflake on your tongue?: Yes
• 39. Kissed in the rain?: No
• 40. Sung in the shower?: Yes
• 41. Sat on a roof top?: No
• 42. Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on?: No
• 43. Broken a bone?: No
• 44. Laugh so hard you cry?: Yes
• 45. Blacked out from drinking?: No
• 46. Choked on something you're not supposed to eat?: No
• This or that?
• 47. Blind or deaf?: Neither...I really can't choose one
• 48. Horror or comedy?: Comedy
• 49. Bungee jumping or sky diving?: Sky Diving
• 50. Sunny or rainy?: Rainy
• 51. Chocolate or Vanilla?: Chocolate
• 52. Night or day?: Night
• 53. Looks or personality?: Personality
• 54. Coffee or tea?: Tea
• 55. Hot or cold?: Cold
• Do You...
• 56. Smoke?: No
• 57. Drink?: Yes
• 58. Do drugs?: No
• 59. Fall in love easily? No
• 60. Like thunderstorms?: Yes
• 61. Dance in the rain?: Yes
• 62. Wish on stars?: Yes
• 63. Believe in fate?: Yes
• 64. Believe in love at first sight?: No
• 65. Have tattoos?: Not yet
• Can you...
• 66. Cook?: Yes
• 67. Whistle?: Yes
• 68. Curl your tongue?: Yes
• 69. Touch your nose with your tongue?: No
• 70. Speak another language?: Yes, not fluently though
• And more..
• 71. Favourite word?: Soigne or Nefelibata
• 72. Favourite flower?: Peonies
• 73. Favourite colour?: Pink 
• 74. What color is your underwear right now?: Red
• 75. Would you ever get plastic surgery?: Yes
• 76. What is your favorite Holiday?: Christmas
• 77. What is your worst habit?: Biting my nails when nervous
• Opposite sex..
• 78. Hair colour?: Dark hair will always be my go to but lately the lighter colours have been catching my eye
• 79. Eye colour?: Brown or Green
• 80. First thing you notice about them?: Jawline 

xoxo, Shantilly.

Welcome 2017!

(This post is so late because I was out of the country [see previous post] and because as soon as I came back I got the flu and super busy with school and new projects)

So 2016 went by preeetty quickly (thankfully). It wasn't that great of a year for the human race as a whole, and once you surf the internet you'd have seen the countless memes about *gasp* the horror of 2016! I can't say they're all wrong or overreacting because I know some folks have had quite a terrible year (my sympathies). However, with some generous reflection on my part, I've come to realize that 2016 was such a necessary year for me personally. It was rough, I don't think any part of it was easy, but it forced me to grow up so much, and for that I'm extremely grateful.

2016 has been a year plagued by constant health issues, personal failures, not one but TWO car accidents, constant drawbacks, and many many breakdowns. But somehow, I've managed to find the silver lining, and not because I was looking for it but because it is what it is. Believe me that's an accomplishment in itself for me as an anxiety and depression sufferer. I was quite shocked with how positive I ended up seeing 2016, but also extremely happy.

So for me 2016 has taught me some of the most valuable lessons in the shortest period of time. You know some people have had a bad year? Well I've had a bad COUPLE of years...no joke. I always made 'goals' instead of resolutions for the past couple of years and well they never came to pass either way so for 2017, I have none. There are numerous personal goals which I have in mind but they're all works in progress and I'll keep those to myself for now. Back to my lessons learnt in 2016:

- You are so much stronger than you think. Physically and mentally.
- You can achieve anything you set your mind to.
- Hard work pays off.
- If you don't try, you'll never know.
- The Gym is a little slice of paradise. (harsh, painful paradise, but with amazing rewards)
- Not everyone is your friend, not everyone deserves your friendship.
- Even the people you consider the most can turn their backs on you.
- It's actually quite peaceful to be alone (especially if you're an introvert like me with so much going on in her head all the time)
- You are better off without people who feel like they can come in and out of your life whenever they want.
- You don't owe the people who have hurt you anything at all, not even a response. 
- Let it go, let it gooooo...all the pent up frustration, built up anger, and poisonous thoughts, they are more toxic than you think.
- No one can harm you once you believe in God and yourself. (that's not saying the people who don't believe in God will be harmed, I'm only speaking for myself with that one because I struggle so much with religion that grasping at it and holding on is a big feat for me).
- Your focus is so important that you can't waste it on irrelevant things or people.
- You are destined for greatness, and you will survive long enough to achieve it.

I feel like it's just done so much for me as a person that I can't say that it was awful. I welcomed 2017 with a much more peaceful and level headed frame of mind than I ever have before and I look forward to all this year has to bring. Best wishes everyone! <3 p="">
xoxo, Shantilly.