Welcome 2017!

(This post is so late because I was out of the country [see previous post] and because as soon as I came back I got the flu and super busy with school and new projects)

So 2016 went by preeetty quickly (thankfully). It wasn't that great of a year for the human race as a whole, and once you surf the internet you'd have seen the countless memes about *gasp* the horror of 2016! I can't say they're all wrong or overreacting because I know some folks have had quite a terrible year (my sympathies). However, with some generous reflection on my part, I've come to realize that 2016 was such a necessary year for me personally. It was rough, I don't think any part of it was easy, but it forced me to grow up so much, and for that I'm extremely grateful.

2016 has been a year plagued by constant health issues, personal failures, not one but TWO car accidents, constant drawbacks, and many many breakdowns. But somehow, I've managed to find the silver lining, and not because I was looking for it but because it is what it is. Believe me that's an accomplishment in itself for me as an anxiety and depression sufferer. I was quite shocked with how positive I ended up seeing 2016, but also extremely happy.

So for me 2016 has taught me some of the most valuable lessons in the shortest period of time. You know some people have had a bad year? Well I've had a bad COUPLE of years...no joke. I always made 'goals' instead of resolutions for the past couple of years and well they never came to pass either way so for 2017, I have none. There are numerous personal goals which I have in mind but they're all works in progress and I'll keep those to myself for now. Back to my lessons learnt in 2016:

- You are so much stronger than you think. Physically and mentally.
- You can achieve anything you set your mind to.
- Hard work pays off.
- If you don't try, you'll never know.
- The Gym is a little slice of paradise. (harsh, painful paradise, but with amazing rewards)
- Not everyone is your friend, not everyone deserves your friendship.
- Even the people you consider the most can turn their backs on you.
- It's actually quite peaceful to be alone (especially if you're an introvert like me with so much going on in her head all the time)
- You are better off without people who feel like they can come in and out of your life whenever they want.
- You don't owe the people who have hurt you anything at all, not even a response. 
- Let it go, let it gooooo...all the pent up frustration, built up anger, and poisonous thoughts, they are more toxic than you think.
- No one can harm you once you believe in God and yourself. (that's not saying the people who don't believe in God will be harmed, I'm only speaking for myself with that one because I struggle so much with religion that grasping at it and holding on is a big feat for me).
- Your focus is so important that you can't waste it on irrelevant things or people.
- You are destined for greatness, and you will survive long enough to achieve it.

I feel like it's just done so much for me as a person that I can't say that it was awful. I welcomed 2017 with a much more peaceful and level headed frame of mind than I ever have before and I look forward to all this year has to bring. Best wishes everyone! <3 p="">
xoxo, Shantilly.

A Little Vacation Throwback

I don't think it's really a throwback that far back since I got back a week ago, anyway, hopefully this vid doesn't get deleted for these stupid copyright BS they're suddenly implementing. Here's a little summary of my Christmas Vacation :)

xoxo, Shantilly.

This Love/Hate Relationship

...with social media

I was thinking about it a lot recently, how much the times have changed thanks to technology. Don't get me wrong, I'm not one of those backward thinkers obsessed with the past and totally opposed to technology. I love technology, I will admit that I can't function normally without my phone, nothing to be proud of there but, I recently asked my little sister what our aunt's number (who we frequently call) was and she could not answer me. I was baffled then I realized it's because she never felt the need to learn it due to having it in her phone. As a child of course there were certain numbers I had to learn by heart, that aunt's number being one of them. So what happens if the phone dies in a time of crisis? Let's try to not even think about that tragedy.

Technology is such vital part of today's life it's pretty hard to imagine living without it at this point (for those of us who are fortunate enough to have access to it of course). Anyway, I'm sure you've all seen the ugly side of technology, the side that breeds a generation of entitled wimps, and bullies hiding behind their screens...Social Media, the side that incites jealousy and hatred for people we don't even know because they have more than us or "seem" to be living a better life that us, please be reminded that there's more to real life than "reel life," some of us seem to forget that (myself included at times). There's also the side that feeds our egos and enables us with visuals that only instigate our greed (confessions of an online shopaholic anyone?) and fuel discontent (because what we have is never enough, "but it's on sale!" "I need that bag even though I just bought a new one.") Now, I love fashion, clothes, shoes, bags, jewels, makeup, all of it, I love it. Nothing will change my love for it, I've loved it since I knew what dressing up was, wearing all of my mom's and aunt's heels and lipstick every chance I could get. But I've noticed that the more I see, the more access I have to it, the more discontent I am with what I already have, the more I feel like I need these new things. It's just not healthy. That's the side of technology I detest, the side that makes me feel like this, then I realize, it's all about willpower, something I surprisingly have a lot of in real life, just not when it comes to shopping unfortunately.

Anyway, I really noticed the positives lately when it comes to technology and social media in particular. Empowerment, social media is filled with so much empowering things that I've gained tremendous inspiration from, it makes me feel like I can do all the things I want to, and all those "impossible" dreams, suddenly feel very possible indeed. Amidst all the horrendous, unnecessary hate, the internet gives access to so many amazing things, it provides these social media platforms that give a voice to those who may not have had a chance before, those very same voices that inspire a large portion of people, the underground poets, writers, actors/actresses, to the future politicians and world leaders, from the smallest individual to the biggest CEO, all use some sort of social media platform. It's a fantastic outlet for small business owners to market their products/brand free of charge or at a very minuscule cost, and it's expanded the employment sector (youtubers, bloggers, viners, where y'all at?). It also provides us with a lot of insight into what's happening around the world...you know the side the news doesn't cover. It provides an entire hub of free education for those who are unaware of what's happening apart from Kim Kardashian's latest makeup look or outfit.

I think from previous posts it's evident how much I feel the need to make a difference in this world plagued by so much bad. I don't think that feeling will ever change, it's who I am, I relate to the pain of others and sometimes the burden is a bit much to bear, I just want to be able to make it a little easier for someone else. My love for makeup and fashion has always made me lean towards beauty and fashion blogging but I personally don't think I'd be able to keep up with that mainly because I spend most days in lounge clothes, no makeup and my hair tied up, so maybe there will be some of those types of posts, when I get fancy. But I don't think my blog/s will ever be totally centred on one thing because there's so many things I'm passionate about.

Back to social media, at the end of the day it's all up to you, how you use it. I think it's about time I use it for some good.

xoxo, Shantilly.

If I Were...

a month, i would be: december

a day of the week, i would be: sunday

a time of day, i would be: 4 A.M.

a planet, i would be: venus

a sea animal, i would be: a sea turtle

a direction, i would be: east

a piece of furniture, i would be: a comfy couch

a sin, i would be: envy

a liquid, i would be: chai

a stone, i would be: emerald

a tree, i would be: a poui tree

a bird, i would be: a hummingbird

a tool, i would be: a hammer

 a flower/plant, i would be: a peony

a kind of weather, i would be: rainy

a mythical creature, i would be: a unicorn

 a musical instrument, i would be: a violin

an animal, i would be: a wolf or tiger

a colour, i would be: gold

a vegetable, i would be: broccoli

a sound, i would be: the sound of rain on the roof

an element, i would be: earth

a car, i would be: a Bugatti Veyron

a song, i would be: paradise - coldplay

a movie, i would be directed by: woody allen

a book, i would be written by: paulo coelho

a food, i would be: lobster bisque or lobster risotto

a place, i would be: notting hill, london

 a material, i would be: fur (faux of course)

a taste, i would be: bittersweet

a scent, i would be: cherry blossom

a religion, i would be: hinduism

a word, i would be: soigne or nefelibata

an object, i would be: a book

a body part, i would be: collar bones

a facial expression, i would be: a smirk

a subject in school, i would be: literature

a cartoon character, i would be: angelica pickles

a shape, i would be: a heart

a number, i would be: 7

Bittersweet Thanks

This year thus far has been a bittersweet one. I haven't even blogged as much as I originally planned to. The year isn't over yet and even though it seems to have flown by way too quickly, it feels so...heavy. Despite today and tomorrow being filled with happy things (sales mainly for me), this entire year thus far has been a tough one. We don't celebrate thanksgiving where I live but of course we're aware of it so I'm going to mimic the traditional thanksgiving and highlight what I'm thankful for. It's always a good thing to acknowledge and give thanks for the things that make the sometime-ish horror that is life, worth it.

1. The Family - as overbearing and suffocating as they are sometimes, I love them more than anything in this world. 

2. My Health - which is forever failing me and costing me a fortune, I am still thankful it's not been anything too serious (knock on wood) and I'm still very much functional (physically, mentally is a different story).

3. Being able to go to school.

4. Having clean water, electricity, food and a place to live. 

5. Living in a relatively safe country - Despite the fact that we are plagued by crime, rising taxes and unemployment, and our government ministers are choosing to focus on how much the last regime spent on roti, Trinidad is still a safe, beautiful place, that thankfully isn't war-torn or falling apart...just yet)

6. My friends - the very few I have, I appreciate more than anything.

xoxo, Shantilly.

Je suis tired.

I am so tired of living in a society where violence has become a commonplace. It seems like every few months we have a new flag filter to change our profile pictures to, and endless #prayfor #jesuis etc hastags of support emerging. It's becoming so sickening. Please don't get me wrong, I'm not saying these things shouldn't be done, in fact, I'm extremely glad that they are being done, that this sense of togetherness and solidarity exists today in the midst of these inhumane acts of senseless terror plaguing our world. What's sickening is that we even have to do them, that these terrible acts even happen, that another human being could even think of doing something so horrible to others.

Another thing that irks me so much about these situations is that I've noticed the moment something like this happens and it goes viral, and there's an outpouring of support from the entire world, certain people feel the need to firstly point out the many other attacks across the world that didn't gain as much publicity. I understand where they're coming from, but why do you feel the need to take away from one tragedy by showing up another? (or several others as the case may be) As an individual, I try my best via my social media outlets, (mainly facebook and twitter as I feel they reach a wider audience) to bring to light all of the other issues and attacks around the world when they happen. I just find it extremely insensitive to use one tragedy just to ask people where there support was for another issue. Instead of using this passive aggressive method of raising awareness, why don't you all try doing it when the events actually occur? I know a lot of people do, myself included, but I also know a lot of people don't and they just show up when something big hits the media circus to put snide comments etc. I am very well aware of how the media works, and how biased it is, but that does not make it okay for you to make people feel like they're wrong for supporting one cause and not another (one that they probably haven't even heard about because like I mentioned, the media is biased). Instead, try raising awareness and making those attacks go viral the same way these do. I know that's easy to say and much harder to do, but it is worth a shot, and I commend all the people that do try to do this. All in all, stop being such a crappy human and adding to people's distress by telling them bullshit about not supporting other issues when they're already distraught by one.

A friend I went to school with was one of the first persons to post about the Brussels attacks this morning on facebook and I don't think I could've worded this any better than he has, so here's a direct quote:

"Is this honestly where the world is headed? Regular attacks on centres of population? Whatever the reason, random attacks on people are wrong- violence is not the answer to whatever plight you may be in, and as human beings we should not be creating situations where another group feels the need to resort to bombing an airport to express their feelings. It's on us to create a world where people are not forced into feeling like violence is their only recourse, and it is our responsibility to try to take the non-violent response. Actions such as this, Paris, 9/11, the ongoing crisis in the Middle East, all they accomplish is perpetuating this cycle of violence and hatred. Even if it's just one person, take a little time out of your day to spread a bit of kindness around, in this climate we're in right now, it really is the least we can do." - Philip Harnanan

xoxo, Shantilly.

"This Is What Happens When Determined Women Get Together"

Sharmeen Obaid-Chinoy, this probably isn't a name most people are familiar with, I wasn't either until the Academy Awards of 2012. This brilliant Pakistani film-maker won the Oscar for Best Documentary (Short Subject) in 2012 for her film Saving Face which delves into the issue of acid attacks on women in Pakistan. This is a subject I was made aware of by my mother many years ago and I've researched it however it lay forgotten until Saving Face won that Oscar and I was yet again reminded of this horrific occurrence. I watched the film and needless to say, I was blown away by this film-maker's gutsy move to cover such a topic, something that countries plagued by it strive to keep hidden, and sweep under the carpet.

I did some research on Sharmeen herself and came across her amazing body of work which covers several issues plaguing the world, issues that are considered taboo, issues that people who aren't affected by them pay no mind to. If you do get the chance, you should definitely check some of these amazing films out, they might open your eyes a bit more.

The Academy Awards of 2016 saw Ms. Obaid-Chinoy win her second Oscar award in the same category as before, Best Documentary (Short Subject). According to Kate Dries, "During a night that was infamously lacking in diversity, A Girl in the River was a rare highlight." This time Sharmeen's work focused on another prominent issue of her homeland, honour killings. This is something I've spent a lot of time reading about and examining from my own point of view. Anyway, her film, A Girl In The River: The Price of Forgiveness, is quite possibly one of the most important pieces of film work in today's world.

The tells the story of Saba, an 18-year-old girl whose father and uncle attempt to kill her as a result of her marrying a man from a poorer family. This is what is defined as an "honor killing." In a twist to the tale, of course the main character can't just die, so Saba miraculously survives the shooting, and makes a vow to bring her father and uncle to justice. The laws in Pakistan prove to be a hindrance to her goal however,they state that if a victim decides to forgive the perpetrators of the crime, those disgusting individuals can walk free.

Many people may not know about it but, this particular film has made waves in Pakistan, reaching the highest of people, namely the Prime Minister. In her acceptance speech, Sharmeen said, "The Pakistani Prime Minister said he will change the law on honour killings after watching this film," she added. “That is the power of film.” Right you are Sharmeen. The Pakistani Prime Minister himself, Nawaz Sharif praised the film highly, he is quoted as saying, "We are striving to give women their rightful place in the society, both economically and politically and end all sorts of violence against them and bring the perpetrators of attacks on them to justice." These words may not seem like much to a lot of people, because they are after all, just words. But these words gave me so much hope in world tormented by so much injustice, I will hold on to them.

Saba's story is presented in an incredibly inspiring light, hopefully one that many take heed of. Apart from surviving the attack, her supporters included those male members of institutions that usually fail us as women in these circumstances, lawyers, doctors, and police officers. Unfortunately, the thing that fails her most remarkably is society itself. The pressures of society for her to forgive her father and uncle so they can keep providing for the family and community (now, I'm not even going to attempt to say how much easier any of this would've been if women weren't treated as second class citizens and allowed a chance to work etc. because that's a whole other story). We are also exposed to something that we see far too often today: the way people misinterpret Islam and the teachings of the Quran in a way that justifies some of their despicable, immoral actions. This is something that irks me to no end, but it is still quite prevalent in today's "modern" society. Also it must be noted that Saba’s acceptance of her situation (something that was incredibly difficult to do), along with her hope that it will get better for the baby she is carrying was so incredibly poignant. I'm so happy to hear that maybe Saba’s dream of a Pakistan that is safer and better for women is not so far off, and a step closer to reality thanks to this movie.

xoxo, Shantilly.